


Saints of a Different Kind

by MellytheHun



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Comedy, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Fixation, Praise Kink, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7394905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellytheHun/pseuds/MellytheHun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elder Price realizes he might have more than platonic feelings for Elder McKinley at a super inconvenient time. Also, he's 100000% straight, so that makes no sense. Ignoring it should work! He will just sit there, consumed with lust for the rest of the evening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there will be smut.  
> Connor McKinley must be protected at all costs.  
> Kevin Price is a self-congratulatory trash can that I love as my son.
> 
> I know this fandom is tiny, but I love it?? so much??? and i wanted to contribute, so here ya go

The whole “letting all our feelings out,” idea boomed – Arnold couldn’t seem happier that villagers and Elders alike were all flocking to their “prophet” and district leader, Elder McKinley and finally letting loose. Elder McKinley absorbed everyone’s troubles like a sponge and still somehow found the time and energy to smile, cook, clean and teach young village children how to dance and sing. 

The weather was stagnant there, mostly warm and dry all year round, but luckily, as it moved to November, they got some rainfall. The villagers were happy, the Elders were happy (if a little directionless) and all had come to a happy end. It all seemed fine to Kevin, until one night Arnold came barreling into their room, looking distraught.

“What? What is it?” Kevin asked.

“It’s Elder McKinley!” Arnold exclaimed, then lowered his voice to a stage-whisper, “ _I mean – it’s Elder McKinley_.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Kevin worried, standing up from his bed.

“I think… I think something’s wrong. I think he’s lonely.”

Kevin smiled broadly and flipped an unworried hand at Arnold, “oh, don’t be silly! Elder McKinley is surrounded by Brothers and his mission companion seems very in tune with him! I’m sure Elder Thomas has it under control – he would never let Elder McKinley feel lonely.”

“No, Kevin, just – come with me!”

That’s how Kevin found himself, pajama and slipper-clad, crouched behind a bush, staring at Elder McKinley’s profile against the low, full moon. 

“He seems fine to me,” Kevin mentioned quietly.

“Just – listen _closely_ ,” Arnold insisted.

So, Kevin did.

Between the buzzing cicadas and soft wind rustling the surrounding trees and fallen leaves, it was difficult to pinpoint quieter sounds. But he heard it. It only had to happen once.

Just a single sniffle.

It wasn’t dry, either. 

“Is he… crying?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah,” Arnold replied solemnly, “He… something seems really wrong, Kev. I think… it’s been a couple weeks and everyone has been able to go to him with their problems, but I don’t think Elder McKinley knows that…”

“He doesn’t know he can come to us with his own,” Kevin finished for Arnold, still staring out at Elder McKinley’s lax form.

He saw Arnold nod in his periphery.

Elder McKinley’s back was curved and it looked uncomfortable, but his long legs were tucked in, his hands holding his ankles and in those cotton pajama pants with its matching striped, buttoned top, he looked almost… cute. He was sad, clearly and that big moon silhouetting him against the clear night sky made him seem like maybe he was the loneliest man on Earth. 

His red hair glowed under the moonlight. It looked a little mussed. He was still… strangely endearing.

“…how long has he been out here?”

“I don’t know,” Arnold answered, “I found him like… twenty minutes ago looking just like this.”

“Well,” Kevin started with concern, “I think you should go fetch Elder Thomas. It appears Elder McKinley needs his companion now more than ever.”

Arnold nodded dutifully and took off back towards the center. Kevin looked out at Elder McKinley, watching closely, but then frowning deeply when Elder McKinley’s shoulders rounded up high by his ears, his chin hit his chest, his hands turned to fists and his entire body shook. His sobs weren’t loud or dramatic, like he was trying to keep them a secret. Like he was trying to stuff it back in.

Kevin opened his mouth, unsure of what might come out, but his instincts telling him that he needed to go provide comfort for whatever might be wrong. Before any noise could come out, Elder McKinley folded on himself, leaning his elbows onto his calves and holding his face in his hands.

If he leaned in a little closer, Kevin was able to hear him chanting a mantra, “off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off –“

There was a shaky inhale, a mutter, “what was I thinking? I’m so foolish.”

Elder McKinley gripped at his own hair, his palms pushing against his forehead, his face still hidden from the angle at which Kevin watched him. 

“I can turn it off again,” Elder McKinley mumbled to no one; more like a plea than a statement, “I can turn it all off. I can be… I can be whatever the Lord needs me to be, please, just…”

He exhaled on a sob again; Kevin felt something squirm unpleasantly in his stomach at the sound.

 _He can’t mean that_ , Kevin thought, _he can’t. Not after everything…_

“I can. I can.”

“No!”

Elder McKinley twisted around to find Kevin standing rigidly. 

He just couldn’t take hearing anymore.

He stalked toward Elder McKinley who was quickly wiping the flustered skin under his eyes.

“Elder Price, what are you –“

“Don’t turn it off! Elder McKinley, what have we been preaching all these weeks? You can’t just – you can’t go back to the way things were! It’s not fair!”

“Not fair to who!?” Elder McKinley fired back, looking more irate.

His big, blue eyes were glistening with unshed tears, though and it offset his anger. Kevin’s heart ached for him.

 _Darn my bleeding, loving heart_ , Kevin thought half-proudly to himself.

Kevin gestured at the empty space left on the rock, “may I please sit with you, Elder McKinley?”

“No,” Elder McKinley answered sharply, standing up and sniffling in that way that tore up parts of Kevin’s chest, “No, I’m going to bed. For both our sakes, please forget this happened and just –“

Kevin grabbed Elder McKinley’s upper-arms and turned him around so they faced each other. Elder McKinley’s handsome face was a shade of red made darker for the surrounding night and Kevin had hoped there’d be shock on his face, but he just looked so… _defeated_. 

“Elder McKinley,” Kevin started seriously, “What has happened? Why are you – what are you turning off? What are you pushing away?”

“You wouldn’t understand, Elder Price.”

Elder McKinley made a small effort to free his arms from Kevin, but it was weak at best. Kevin figured he must have worn himself out, crying like he had been.

“Try me,” Kevin suggested gently.

Elder McKinley looked into Kevin’s eyes and asked, “do you know my first name?”

Pouting in confusion, Kevin was a little bereft to admit, “uhm… no. I don’t.”

“My name is Connor.”

Kevin felt something happen in his chest again. He wondered if it was a sign – a sign he was doing the right thing. That his heart was being tugged in the direction he was most needed.

“Okay,” Kevin replied, “Would you… prefer I call you by your first name?”

“If you’re going to force me to have this conversation, yes, I’d prefer we… we just stop with the titles.”

Kevin let his arms slide down Connor’s until he was holding Connor’s hands. They were surprisingly soft for all the hard labor Connor had been up to lately. Everything about Connor seemed softer than Kevin had ever noticed. He seemed so open and vulnerable – it gave Kevin a power rush, but also a heavy sense of responsibility. 

“Well, Connor,” Kevin said with meaning, “I don’t want to _force you_ to do _anything_. I want you to know that I’m here for you. I want you to let out whatever is making you so miserable.”

Connor looked down and away, his brows knit. He sighed and said, “I received a letter. A troubling letter from home.”

“Oh my,” Kevin responded with care, “Is everyone alright?”

“Ripe with righteous fury, but otherwise fine. If I don’t… if I don’t go back to the way things were, Kevin, I won’t have a home to go back to.”

Kevin’s eyes rounded, “you’re family –?”

“My parents wrote to let me know they’re withholding my letters to my younger sister too,” Connor said, still unable to look Kevin in the eyes, “They don’t want her to somehow be _influenced_ by my… poor decisions. And that if I am bent on continuing to ‘humiliate,’ and ‘degrade,’ the family name and myself, then I should consider myself orphaned.”

“Wait – is this about the Church or about you?”

“They’re one in the same in my home, Kevin,” Connor replied, finally looking up, “I thought for a moment… I thought… maybe…”

 _Maybe, what?_ Kevin wanted to ask, but didn’t. Connor was deeply troubled and Kevin had no easy answer.

“So many therapies, so many sermons, so many prayers, so many Hell dreams and I have just a few weeks of… letting all I learned go and I lose everything.”

“Oh, Elder – uhm, Connor – you haven’t lost anything,” Kevin assured nervously, “We – your Brothers – we are all here for you.”

“I was never going to have a family.”

Kevin’s brows pulled in.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not understanding,” Connor said seriously, stare turning hard, “I can’t… I can’t even stand _the thought_ of lying with a woman – it’s not, I’m not _built_ that way! I was never going to have a family. I was _never_ going to be the perfect Mormon like the _renowned Elder Kevin Price_. I’ve been told so many times that if I can’t rid myself of the sinful thoughts, just not to act on them, but I don’t just want… I don’t just want the physical aspects of a relationship.”

Kevin swallowed a hot lump in his throat and gave a small jump when Connor gripped his hands a little harder.

“When all of you – when you say that it’s okay to have these thoughts, just not do anything about them, you’re asking me… no, you’re _condemning_ me. You’re condemning me to a life without the companionship I want, I _need_ …”

Connor’s eyes got wet again and pain spread through Kevin’s chest at the sight of it. 

“I can hold the weight of worlds, Kevin Price,” Connor swore, eyes twinkling sadly but powerfully, “I can bite my tongue, I can pray on the splintered boards of a Church floor for days on end. I can put on a smile, I can force a laugh, I can turn it on and off like a _machine_ … I’m the best one-man act this Church has ever seen! I can be everyone’s everything.”

The pain became widespread, down into Kevin’s stomach and up into his neck. He wanted to speak, but no hopeful words came to his mind. No prayer or hymn or promise was genuine enough to give to Connor.

“I’m a chameleon, Kevin,” Connor added, presenting his arms like his skin color might change, but without letting go of Kevin’s hands, “I can shape-shift! I can make magic. But for the first time… I think in my life… just for a few weeks, I was not blended background scenery.”

Connor took a step closer to Kevin, his gaze heavy and intense, “I have pretended to be some one kind of person every day of my life – a counselor, a father to some, a brother to others, a friend, a confidant, a teacher, a good and true Mormon, a man who doesn’t need to be held or reassured or thanked or loved.”

Kevin wondered briefly if he could recall anyone thanking Elder McKinley for anything; his brain was muddled at the moment and he blamed his inability to recall on that. Surely the other Elders have expressed their due gratitude, he thought. Surely. But Kevin wasn’t so dim that he couldn’t see the real problem. He could feel Connor’s pain as if it were his own.

“And I think somewhere, lost among the years, I forgot who I am because… I was constantly changing to suit whoever was there, whoever needed me most,” Connor continued, a single tear falling down his freckled cheek, “And it took some getting used to – this idea that I could just… _be_. I could just think my thoughts, feel my feelings and even express them… it all seemed so unreal. But I somehow grew used to it – getting to know myself. I want for things, Kevin. I want for things I cannot have.”

“No,” Kevin answered weakly – he cleared his throat, then repeated more certainly, “No. No – you can have whatever you want, Connor. You can be yourself. The Lord, if He truly is out there, if He created the universe and all our brothers and sisters – then He built you to be the way you are for a purpose. And God doesn’t make errors, Connor. He doesn’t… He doesn’t make _waste_.”

Connor shook his head, tears coming on faster and harder than before, brow furrowed like he was in pain. He gripped at Kevin’s forearms and Kevin let him, Kevin wanted to be this anchor for Connor. He could do this. He knew he could do this. He could make this right.

“I don’t want to be the only person who ever knows who I am,” Connor sobbed, “I want someone to see me – _truly_ see me – and I want… I want to be loved. I want to be held, reassured – I want someone to be thankful for me not because I do something for them, but because I am the person I am. Because I’m _their_ person. I want someone who thinks of me and-and can’t stand the thought of being without me. I want _love_ , Kevin and I can’t… I’m not allowed to have it.”

“That’s – that’s just garbage!” Kevin said defiantly, shocking Connor a little and making him hiccup a sob, “It is! That’s – you shouldn’t have to choose between being yourself and having your loved ones! Connor – you are perfect the way you are. You don’t need to change for anyone and if the Lord has a problem with it, you can ask Him personally the day that you ascend to Him and call him on that bluff! It’s okay to say! It’s okay to want! You want to be held, reassured and loved by a man –“

Connor opened his mouth, as if to argue that it was untrue, but Kevin steamrolled through, “you do! Maybe you even want a husband someday with kids of your own – and, Connor – you deserve that. All of it. The holding, the reassurance, the love, the husband and kids – you deserve love, Connor.”

Kevin took up one of his hands to gently cup Connor’s face and swipe away at a stray tear. He felt Connor’s eyes on him, but decided it was safer to watch his own thumb. 

“You don’t need to hold the weight of worlds, pray for days, force a laugh or fake a smile – you don’t have to be a chameleon. Not in front of me, Connor. We can fix this – we can talk sense into your family –“

“No,” Connor interrupted, voice quiet if a little raspy, “No, we can’t. I’m twenty, Kevin. They’ve spent two entire decades packing away every sincere part of myself into boxes and then telling me to crush them myself. And I did. And I’ll do it again. Nothing has really changed, Kevin. We’re miles and miles away from home, that’s all that’s happened – we blasphemed, shamed our families with our excommunication and I only have one ticket home. And it’s the same ticket to the Connor McKinley show that’s been running for twenty years straight.”

“No,” Kevin said again, “No – it can’t be this way. It isn’t fair.”

Connor took a step backward, tilting his head to the side, “I know,” he replied sadly.

“So, what? You get a glimpse – just a glimpse of what life could be like if you were free to be who you really are and then you just… you just have to go back to hiding?” Kevin asked, outraged.

“Yes,” Connor answered calmly, “But the glimpse was worth it, I think. Contrary to what I first thought when I got here – I think I’ll look back very fondly on my time in Uganda. I’ll remember a few nights where I actually slept the whole night through. I’ll remember a few days where I tap danced with some children and no one thought it was strange. I’ll remember a few days that when I sang, the people around me sang along instead of giving me the stink-eye.”

“No – it’s not, it’s not fair, though! This can’t be right,” Kevin insisted, holding fast to Connor’s forearms, pulling him closer, “We need to find a way. There is always a way.”

Connor smiled sleepily at Kevin, body slack and eyes still heartbreaking.

“What would you do, Kevin? If you could only go to Orlando once?”

Kevin quirked a confused brow and Connor expounded, “let’s say, you could only go to Sea World for a single day. No – a few minutes. No! Not even that! Just a moment! Just a quick moment. You’d see a glimpse – just a quick, fleeting image of what life could be like and then never see it again. Would you still take that glimpse?”

“Yes,” Kevin answered readily, “I would.”

“Even though… even though it would be something you couldn’t keep? Even though it’d be something you could never, ever do again?”

“Even then,” Kevin replied; he didn’t really understand where Elder McKinley was going with this, but he hoped his act of assuredness would bleed into Elder McKinley and instill in him the hope and gladness he once had.

Kevin was momentarily distraught at the idea that the hope and gladness Elder McKinley so regularly exuded might be part of his chameleon show.

“Even then, hmm…?” Connor wondered quietly, eyes flickering between Kevin’s.

There was a beat or two and then Connor said, just barely audibly, “Heavenly Father, forgive me.”

Kevin would have asked what for, but he found his lips quickly shut against Elder McKinley’s. 

_Connor_ , Kevin reminded himself, feeling surreal, _his name is Connor. He’s your first kiss. You should think of him by his proper name._

Connor’s lips were soft, full and searing – it was dizzying. Kevin couldn’t move until he felt Connor’s hands leave his arms and move to his abdomen. The muscles under his nightshirt convulsed nervously – Connor’s hands were broad, warm and to be touched like that was unfamiliar. Not at all unwelcome. Just… unfamiliar. The sensation made him gasp and Connor took advantage of that, licking into his mouth and making his heart throb violently.

Connor’s hands gradually moved up Kevin’s chest, thumbs brushing past sensitive nipples – eliciting a moan Kevin had no control over and was immediately embarrassed by – petting gently at Kevin’s exposed collarbone, cupping his neck and then holding him at the jaw. Connor held him like that, tilting Kevin’s head for better access, for more interaction and Kevin responded.

He wasn’t sure what parts of his brain were working properly and which weren’t, but he moved his lips against Connor’s and licked him back too – it was intimate, it was startling but _thrilling_. 

When Connor’s hands moved again, they migrated to his hair, threading through the locks there with fingers shaking. Kevin thought to himself absurdly that Connor’s fingers shouldn’t be so nervous – they’re doing wonderful things to him. Those fingers in his hair made him feel so cherished, so cradled and safe – it was all so bizarre. 

Kevin hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes until he found himself reaching out blindly for something to ground him; he couldn’t be sure if all kisses felt like this, but he felt like he might just float away or melt into a puddle. His hands wound up touching gingerly at Connor’s exposed arms and then like an electric shock, Elder McKinley instantly pulled away.

Strangely, as Connor pulled away, Kevin found himself leaning in, as if there was a magnetic pull drawing him back into Connor’s gravitation. 

Connor let go of him completely, though and backed away a few steps. It took a few moments for Kevin’s eyes to flutter open.

Kevin felt very suddenly cold without Elder McKinley pressed up against him. If he were being honest, he didn’t like this turn of events. He didn’t like that the attention had stopped. He didn’t like that the kissing and the petting and even the embarrassing moaning had stopped. He didn’t like that it felt like some sort of goodbye. 

Connor’s hands were still visibly shaking and Kevin had the most outlandish desire to put them back on his body, to plaster Connor’s hands to him and maybe the warmth of his skin would stop the shaking. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Connor apologized quickly, “I’m so sorry. I’m… fragile tonight and… I shouldn’t have… I… I’m sorry, Elder Price.”

Kevin’s heart sank. 

He hated this more and more with each passing second.

His lips tingled and felt a little swollen. He could taste the sleepy-time tea Elder McKinley always drinks before bed now left on his tongue. Residual heat from Connor’s body being so close to him clung to his clothes and all his instincts were encouraging him to chase after that warmth, to grab Connor and pull him back in because despite the heat, despite the weather, he was very suddenly frozen without Connor against him.

“I… I should go. Please, forgive me, Elder Price. I – I won’t lose control like that again.”

The silent “ever” hung like lead in the air. 

Without even a glance over his shoulder, Elder McKinley walked back toward the center, straightening his shirt and brushing back his hair. He was out of sight before Kevin could even get enough brain cells in motion to create some sort of reaction.

He reached up to touch at his lips, still tingling, still tasting like Connor. Like _Connor McKinley._

“Oh,” Kevin said dumbly to no one.

He still felt a little floaty. He decided he definitely likes kisses – he’d never had one before. Not on the lips like that. And he had certainly never felt another person’s tongue against his own. He definitely, definitely liked it, though. 

And that feeling of being _chosen_ again – it was a rush so fulfilling, so full of energy and power. Being wanted, being _preferred_ – Kevin was always comfortable with that. Happy with that. He wanted to feel more of it. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted Connor McKinley to rush back to him and touch him like he was desired, kiss him until he’s sure he’s five feet off the ground, whisper to him, call him by his first name – he wanted it all back.

There was a broken record turning in his brain just playing and replaying, _Elder McKinley likes me, Elder McKinley likes me as more than a friend, Elder McKinley likes me as more than a Brother, Elder McKinley wants to kiss me, Elder McKinley wants more than to kiss me, Elder McKinley **wants me** _ – 

“Uh… Kev?”

Kevin twisted around to see Arnold standing awkwardly by the bush they had been hiding behind earlier. He had forgotten Arnold was supposed to come back. He’d forgotten most things, actually.

“Oh, uhm… how much did you –“

“Everything.”

“Right…” Kevin said, because of course, “…is Elder Thomas with you?”

“No, he was asleep – I didn’t want to wake him, I wasn’t sure what to do.”

They stared at each other in an awkward silence for a while. Kevin hated to admit it to himself, but his mind was elsewhere – he couldn’t even be bothered with obeying normal social cues and engage in the awkwardness. He was consumed with thoughts of red hair and full lips and brave, shaking hands. 

Arnold sighed loudly and announced, “well, I think we can keep this a secret, huh? Elder McKinley would be pretty embarrassed if the other Elders found out.”

“Why should he be embarrassed about liking _me_?” Kevin demanded to know in a haughty tone of offense. 

“He… didn’t say he _liked_ you, Kev,” Arnold smirked, “You were just pushing his buttons about being… you know, the way he is. And you were right there in front of him, telling him to act on it. What I mean is that he’d probably be embarrassed if the other Elders were to find out that he acted on impulse like that. Like he said – he lost control of himself for a minute there. He probably regrets it.”

Kevin frowned. 

He didn’t like any part of that. 

None of that made him special.

 _I’m being selfish again_ , Kevin thought to himself, _Elder McKinley is very respected and I wouldn’t even be able to return his feelings if he did have them for me, since I’m not that way… so… I’m just being selfish for wanting to believe I’m his favorite._

There was something false in that thought, but Kevin couldn’t pinpoint what felt off about it. He’d think on it later, he supposed.

“Maybe we should find out if anyone else around is, ya know… something other than straight,” Arnold suggested, “Maybe Elder McKinley could find someone to really like and… maybe even date!”

 _No, that’s an awful idea, Arnold. Stop talking. Stop thinking and especially stop thinking **that**_ , Kevin thought bitterly.

The thought of Connor kissing someone else – anyone else – it was infuriating! _He_ was the person Connor chose to kiss. Connor kissed _him_. That had to mean something. It made him special. It made him chosen. It made him – 

He inwardly slapped himself, scolding those selfish thoughts.

Arnold gasped delightedly, “maybe if he finds true love, he won’t even want to leave! He can leave his – his, uhm… _unkind_ family and just find happiness down here! Oh, I gotta ask so many people so much stuff tomorrow!”

Arnold was expounding on that idea, sort of loudly too. But Kevin couldn’t hear him. 

His heart was pounding and sinking all at once and he couldn’t understand why. His brain felt fried. All he could really tell was that he wanted Connor’s attention again. He wanted to hold Connor, to reassure him, to comfort him, to thank him, to kiss him and be kissed by him – he wanted to touch Connor and let Connor touch him again too, he wanted Connor to… he wanted Connor… he _wanted_ Connor.

_Oh no._


	2. The Wish

Elder McKinley chewed on a lot of pens. 

Kevin was beginning to think it was an intentional attack on his psyche, because he could have sworn Elder McKinley never had things so close to his mouth all the time. He would have noticed, right? It seems like the sort of thing Kevin would haven noticed before. 

“Elder Price! I need help out here with the chlorine!” 

Kevin had been content to sit on the couch and watch Elder McKinley chew on his pen from a distance, but the Church had recently sent new missionaries. New, cheerful, freshly brainwashed missionaries that seemed to constantly require Kevin’s help. Like they were on the same ‘secret team,’ or something.

Kevin’s parents wrote him a disturbingly insensitive letter, detailing how they knew their precious, flawless son would never purposely wind up in such an absurd situation and that it had to be the doing of his “unsavory _special needs_ friend.” In the letter, they also disclosed that they’d begged for mercy from the Church, defended Kevin and his history with the Church, which wound up in an arrangement for other missionaries to be sent down to redeem them.

The pressure to perform and somehow become reinstated with the Church was being balanced carefully on Kevin Price’s good family name and previously, entirely clean record. 

Thus a group of six elders came. 

To make matter worse, one of them, Elder Michael Warren, was a distant friend of Elder McKinley’s since childhood. From the moment Elder Warren entered the center, he and Elder McKinley were barely separable. The way they smiled good-naturedly at each other and talked about old schoolyard bullies made Kevin nauseous. 

Elder Warren was always smiling and, for whatever reason, Elder Warren’s smile seem to plaster one onto Elder McKinley’s face as well. 

Kevin had decided to hate him.

He couldn’t show his hatred, however, since the new missionaries had gone to the trouble of personally investing in an above-ground pool for the center, where all the villagers and Elders could enjoy it. It was a kind, charitable act and Kevin knew he should be grateful for it, but he really just wanted them to leave. 

Mostly Elder Warren. 

In fact, everyone else was fine to stay, but Kevin kept sending Elder Warren out for all kinds of asinine chores in the middle of the night, hoping Elder Warren would get eaten by a lion or something.

Nabulungi explained to him that being eaten by lions isn’t exactly a common occurrence, but Kevin told her not to crush his dreams, please and she apologized. The only real joy Elder Warren brought Kevin was in his abject bewilderment at the things Arnold would shamelessly say and do.

“Oh, Elder Priccceeee!”

Kevin stood up from the couch with a heavy sigh and followed Elder Warren’s sing-song voice to the pool outside. There was a big netted tent that hung over the pool to keep bugs away and out, the actual pool went as far as five feet deep and it was fairly big, considering the personal budget they’d been on. 

“There you are!” Elder Warren welcomed gladly, “We need just one more calibration on all the chemical levels and once that’s done, the pool will be open for use!”

“Yippee,” Kevin replied drily, going to the poolside to take hold of the hanging, plastic cylinder floating in the water.

He was out there with several other Elders when Elder McKinley was dragged outside by Elder Thomas.

“See!” Elder Thomas said, “It’s finished!”

“Oh my,” Elder McKinley smiled, touching at the rim of the pool, “What a fine job you gentlemen have done! It looks lovely, Elders! Very good work!”

They all thanked Elder McKinley and Kevin felt his stomach twist around. 

He didn’t like sharing praise. 

Sure, he hadn’t really worked hard on the pool building all that much, but if Elder McKinley was going to praise anyone for good work, it should’ve been Kevin. Kevin didn’t have a particularly good reason for why that is, it just seemed wrong to share Elder McKinley’s praise. Especially with Elder Warren.

If anyone was _undeserving_ of Elder McKinely’s praise, it was Elder Warren.

“You should go in!” Elder Warren invited.

“Me? Why me?”

“Don’t be silly, Elder McKinley – I remember how much you loved the pool growing up. You still swim, don’t you?”

Elder McKinley shrugged and said, “well, I certainly can’t do anything too impressive without a diving board. Or in water so shallow –“

“I’ll go in with you – we’ll christen it together!” Elder Warren grinned.

Elder McKinley still hesitated and then Elder Warren had the gall to _wink_ at Elder McKinley. 

**_Wink._ **

Kevin opened his mouth, no coherent thought ready, which probably just meant he’d make angry noises until something strung itself together, but he didn’t get a word out. Elder McKinley gave a quiet laugh and surrendered, “alright, alright. No laughing at my tan-lines, though!”

“No promises!” Elder Warren joked.

Kevin fantasized about punching Elder Warren in his pretty face. And that was worse too – Elder Warren wasn’t frumpy or unkempt. He was traditionally handsome with black hair, parted perfectly, dark eyes and a sunny disposition. Arnold swore Elder Warren’s teeth were whiter than Kevin’s too. 

Was there something stronger than loathing? Kevin was pretty sure he felt something stronger than loathing for Elder Warren.

He needed a thesaurus for how much he hated Elder Warren.

Elder McKinley toed off his perfectly shined shoes, undid his perfectly knotted tie and his perfect, nimble fingers gingerly slipped every button out of its place before neatly folding his shirt and setting it down on his shoes.

When Elder Warren asked why Elder McKinley wasn’t wearing his designated undergarments, Elder McKinley paused before saying simply, “we, uhm… we don’t do that here. Anymore.”

Elder Warren’s brow furrowed with concern, but he clearly elected to worry about it later and Kevin could see right through him. He was holding onto that – Elder Warren would try to convince Elder McKinley to start wearing those clothes again once they had time alone. Kevin knew all the tactics and while Kevin wasn’t typically in the business of keeping clothes off of fellow Elders, he would fuck a frog before he let Elder Warren convince Elder McKinley to go back to the old ways.

“Oh! Elder McKinley!” Nabulungi announced her presence happily, standing next to Arnold who had just joined the group outside, “You have so many skin stars!”

Elder McKinley picked his arms up a little and looked at his bare torso – he did have silly tan-lines. Kevin liked them. They were actually sort of attractive in a strange way. It showed how much work he’d been doing out in the sun – those silly tan lines could say a lot about his personality.

Maybe Kevin just liked seeing so much of Elder McKinley’s skin.

“Uhm, I’m sorry, Sister, I do not understand what you mean?”

“Skin stars!” Nabulungi repeated, gesturing broadly at his freckled back, “Beauty marks! Freckles – you have so many!”

Kevin lifted a hand to hide to his smile when Elder McKinley responded to that comment by tucking his arms around himself protectively and shying away. He glared at Nabulungi and he was about to say something but Elder Warren tsk’ed and said, “Sister, Elder McKinley does not care for his skin stars very much. Best not to bring them up.”

“Oh,” she said sadly, “I’m sorry – my family has always considered these very beautiful.”

Elder McKinley smiled weakly at her, his arms still tucked high, “it’s – it’s fine, Sister. Is there a reason you call them that?”

“Skin stars?” Nabulungi asked, “My mother used to say that. I had a cousin with very dark skin and light spots – the opposite of your own skin and my mother would tell her how her skin was dark as the night sky and every light freckle was a star and a wish to come true!”

Elder McKinley’s smile turned more honest and he told her, “that’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“Have you made any wishes on yours?”

“Uhm – no, I’m afraid not,” Elder McKinley laughed nervously.

Nabulungi walked up to him and touched her index finger to a freckle on the left of his collarbone. 

“May I make a wish on this one?”

“…uhm, okay…?”

Nabulungi shut her eyes with her fingertip still against his freckle and after a moment she dropped her hand and stepped back.

“Now it will come true! Thank you, Elder McKinley.”

He laughed and said, “really, that’s the easiest work I’ve done all day. No need to thank me. What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you!” Nabulungi scolded teasingly, “It will not come true! It has to be a secret until it comes true!”

Elder McKinley accepted his defeat, smiling at her and eventually made his way to the plastic ladder that lead into the pool. He stood at the top, looking into the clean water clad in only light blue boxer-briefs that Kevin definitely wasn’t watching too closely.

It’s just, Elder McKinley’s calves and thighs were so strong and maybe it was the pinch his waist came to or the tight line of the small of his back, but he had these curves – the lines of his body were suddenly so distracting and Kevin had just never noticed before. 

He blushed, thinking how there was a night not so long ago that those lines were pressed up against his. He wished he had run his hands over those lines. They looked nice to touch. He wondered if Elder McKinley’s figure was as soft as his lips or if he was stronger than his frame implied.

“Elder Warren?”

“Yes?”

Elder McKinley jumped when he realized Elder Warren was standing right behind him. He twisted his head over his shoulder to look at Elder Warren.

“How cold is the water, exactly?”

Elder Warren gave him a wicked grin and pushed his back, throwing him into the pool. Kevin would never admit it out loud, but watching Elder McKinley’s face turn bright red while his arms pinwheeled around in a panic was one of the funniest things he’d ever seen. 

Watching Elder McKinley emerge from the water with his hair dark, heavy, face flustered and dripping, though was the least funny thing Kevin had ever seen.

It was not funny. Not even a little.

Why did Elder Warren laugh at that? It _wasn’t_ funny. It was several things, but funny was not one of them.

Elder McKinley looked… 

_Sinful._

His lips were pouty and his usually perfect hair was in disarray, shining against the midday sun and framing around his blushing face. He was trying not to smile and failing. He had started some sort of inane argument with Elder Warren about a betrayal of the deepest kind and was interrupted by Elder Warren jumping into the water right next to him, splashing him in the process.

The pool officially christened, everyone either fetched recently acquired bathing suits and joined or brought their lunches outside and sat by the pool. 

Kevin sat with Arnold and Nabulungi, unaware of how focused they were on his wandering gaze. His wandering gaze that only wandered closer to Elder McKinley, that is. After making a whirlpool, discussion erupted about building a deck around the pool so everyone could fit if they wanted and that’s when Elder McKinley came to the rim of the pool.

He crossed his arms over the white, plastic border and shook his head like a dog caught in the rain. He leaned on the wall a little and met Kevin’s eyes. Kevin’s heart skipped a beat and then shyly, Elder McKinley asked him, “Elder Price – won’t you come over here, please?”

Kevin very nearly tripped in his eagerness to obey. He came to stand in front of Elder McKinley and…

Well, drenched like that, looking open and sweet and younger than usual somehow, he didn’t really _feel_ like Elder McKinley. He felt like _Connor_. Kevin wanted to ask if it was okay to call Elder McKinley by his first name, but he was too nervous.

They’d spent the last three weeks in strained silence. Only speaking to each other when it was absolutely mandatory – not that Elder McKinley had ever been rude to Kevin. He was just distant. 

Kevin hated it.

“Why aren’t you swimming, Elder Price?”

“I don’t have any swimming shorts and besides – it’s a little more crowded than I care for.”

_By crowded I mean Elder Warren is in there and he is one Elder too many and you should tell him that he’s awful and you hate him and that my teeth are whiter than his and I’m more handsome._

“I don’t have swimming shorts either,” Elder McKinley argued, clearly unable to sense Kevin’s hateful thoughts, “No one will mock you for jumping in with your underwear. But if it’s too many people, I can understand that.”

Kevin just nodded, all his impeccable social skills leaving him in an instant. 

“Would you like to make a wish on my arm?”

“What?”

Elder McKinley extended his right arm, presenting his freckles. The hair on his arms were golden and shone in the daylight. Kevin looked to Elder McKinley’s arm and then back to his face. He might have been blushing, but his cheeks and nose were a little sunburnt too, it was hard to tell. He was just shimmering and golden and pink and fiery and _so close_ – 

“The other Elders have been making wishes. It’s only fair,” Elder McKinley said with a smile, “I’ll probably have even more freckles once I get out of the sun here too, so you have your pickings.”

“I can… make a wish? On one of your freckles?”

Elder McKinley giggled and Kevin wanted to _die_ , “it _does_ sound silly, doesn’t it…”

Just as Elder McKinley was drawing his hand back into the water, Kevin grabbed him by the wrist in a panic to stop him. His heart was racing. Why was interacting with Elder McKinley so impossible now?

“No, I’d like to – just, uhm… I want to pick the right one.”

“I’m fairly sure there’s no right or wrong freckle,” Elder McKinley replied quietly.

Kevin didn’t reply. He looked up Elder McKinely’s forearm, following the form and endearing tan lines all the way up to his now-pink shoulders. There was a smattering of freckles on Elder McKinley’s neck. Another thing Kevin had never noticed before. 

Then he saw a single freckle – it was a little darker than the rest, more like a beauty mark, but it was within a cluster of freckles. It was on Elder McKinley’s earlobe. 

Kevin let go of Elder McKinley’s wrist and reached up, unthinkingly. He took Elder McKinley’s earlobe between his thumb and forefinger like he might tug on it, but he made sure he was very careful and gentle. His thumb covered the chosen freckle.

“This one.”

“There’s one on my ear?” Elder McKinley asked, his voice wavering a little.

Kevin hoped the nervous waver was because he was touching Elder McKinley and giving him, maybe some _confusing_ thoughts. He knew it was more likely that Elder McKinley felt struck by anxiety, though. Determined to make things right, Kevin straightened his back a little and nodded.

“There certainly is. I like it a lot. This is the freckle I want. Can I make a wish on it?”

In an instant, Elder McKinley’s eyes turned into _Connor’s_ eyes. Whatever sort of hued or shaded chameleon he was that day fell from his face right before Kevin’s eyes and Kevin’s heart started thudding again. He was proud of himself. He had an effect on Elder – no, he had an effect on _Connor_. Connor _did_ choose him. He was special to Connor – that _must_ be it. 

And who could blame him, right? Kevin was awesome. Kevin knew this – everyone knew that.

He so wanted Connor’s favor like this – he wanted Connor’s golden spotlight to shine on him and him alone always. And having Connor’s eyes on him like that made him feel powerful, made him feel remarkable, exceptional – divine even. 

Deciding to test his powers, he leaned in a little closer to the edge of the pool and said low enough so only Connor could hear him, “it’s my favorite one, I think. Once I make a wish on it, it has to be mine. No one else can make a wish on it. It has to be _my_ freckle. Deal?”

Connor visibly swallowed and nodded weakly. Kevin smiled his most winning smile at Connor and shut his eyes to make his wish.

It took him a moment. 

It wasn’t a prayer. A wish was different than a prayer. He wasn’t addressing Heavenly Father – it had to be different. So he didn’t wish for answers to his confused mind like he had been praying for nightly, he didn’t wish for an explanation or sign from the universe or the Lord Himself as he had been praying for in the past few weeks. 

_Please kiss me again._

The wish came before Kevin had thought of it consciously and then it was done – his wish was made. He hadn’t meant for his wish to be that, but he wasn’t about to try and retract it. He didn’t understand his feelings for Connor quite yet. He even considered the possibility that he may have just been addicted to high praise and positive regard and was grasping desperately for it.

But Elder Thomas gave him praise too – Elder Church had given him lots of positive regard as well. Arnold still practically worshipped him. So, if all he wanted was the attention, wouldn't he have been just as confused about the rest of the Elders?

Maybe, if Connor kissed him again and he could just _think_ during that kiss, he’d be able to figure out what it all meant to him.

When he opened his eyes he found Connor still staring at him.

“What?” Kevin asked softly.

“I’m… having a crisis.”

Kevin grinned, wanting to laugh, “you’re handling your crisis very well, then. I wouldn’t have been able to tell.”

Connor’s eyes flickered to Kevin’s lips and he thought that his wish might come true right at that very moment. He could hardly wait. He didn’t care about the witnesses or how hard the new missionaries would flip out – in fact, he actually sort of liked the idea that Elder Warren would be there to see it.

“Elder Price – I didn’t mean to –“

“HEY, KEV!”

_I._

_Will._

_Kill._

_Arnold._

Kevin rigidly turned around, Kill Bill sirens blaring in his head. Arnold was smiling awkwardly at him from the back patio of the center and he asked for Kevin to come over. Kevin yelled back that he’d be in after a moment, then put his attention back on Connor. 

“You never told me you liked swimming.”

Connor was definitely blushing then. It took up his whole face.

“You – I – I mean, no one exactly asked me about it, it wasn’t – uhm. It just wasn’t relevant.”

“Makes sense, though – that fantasy you once told us about, about that old friend of yours. How you’d be on a deserted island and playing in the water – that makes sense to me now.”

Connor quirked a curious brow, smirking a little – he was endeared. 

“Ariel was always my favorite Disney princess,” Connor said in response, “I felt a lot like her. We both had red hair, both were strong swimmers, both loved to sing, both wanted to dance, both felt out of place… a little torn between two worlds that couldn’t meet in the middle. When I was very little, I thought about being a mermaid like her. Or merman, I guess?”

Kevin gave Connor a mock-offended expression and said, “I’m wounded, Connor. What if I was your prince? You’d just leave me to be tricked by Ursula to be a merman? Just like that? Shame on you.”

Connor’s smile was so beautiful it made breathing difficult. 

Even when it turned sad.

“We wouldn’t be in the same story, Kevin,” Connor replied, “Besides, you look much more like Prince Phillip.”

“If you even imply that Elder Warren looks like Prince Eric, I will poke a hole in this pool in retaliation.”

Connor looked momentarily shocked, then threw his head back and laughed this glorious, gorgeous laugh. He held his chest and exposed his neck and Kevin’s freshly pressed pants were feeling sort of tight, but aside from that discomfort, Connor’s laughter was maybe the most perfect, comforting sound Kevin had ever heard.

“It was supposed to be a compliment!” Connor laughed – finally drawing the attention of the surrounding Elders, “Prince Phillip is probably the most handsome Disney prince there is!”

“Have you even _watched_ Tangled? Prince Phillip is no Flynn Rider. Seriously, have you seen him?” Kevin asked jokingly, spurring on Connor’s laughter.

“HEY, KEVVVVVV,” Arnold called nervously, “SORTA IMPORTANT. THAT WE _TALK_. RIGHT NOOOWWWW.”

Kevin bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t scream at Arnold to frick the frack off. 

“It would appear that I’m needed elsewhere.”

Connor looked down at Kevin’s hands still holding the rim of the pool and when he looked up at Kevin again, it was clear that once Kevin was gone, he’d go back to being Elder McKinley, but he was quiet and genuine for the time between them right then.

“It would appear so. Thank you for that, Kevin.”

Kevin smiled broadly at Connor, “easiest work I’ve done all day.”

Connor smiled at him and then slipped his arms back into the water, “go on – your companion and our prophet needs you.”

Kevin wanted to do anything but leave, but Arnold’s obnoxious voice came again and he surrendered to it. He backed up a few steps so that he could still look at Connor a moment longer. He stood still for a few seconds.

Maybe if he just ran up to Connor and grabbed his face from over the rim of the pool, he could kiss Connor and sort out whatever the Heck was going on inside him.

He soon felt the pressure of all the Elders’ eyes on him, though and he nodded to Connor one last time, then turned around and swiftly made his way to Arnold, contemplating the several ways he could kill the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arnold Cunningham, professional cock-blocker.


	3. The Offer

There was sweat dripping down the side of Kevin’s face and his hair was sort of damp. His face felt flustered in all the heat. He was worried it made him look unattractive.

And with Connor climbing on top of him with that intent gaze, he really wanted to feel more confident.

“You look worried, Elder Price,” Connor said lowly.

“N-No,” Kevin replied, “Not about – not about you, anyway. I’m… I’m just worried I’m gonna screw this up.”

“Now, that’s not the Kevin Price _I_ know,” Connor chided, bearing the weight of his lower half down onto Kevin.

Friction.

Friction was ** _amazing_**.

Why did no one tell Kevin that friction was that amazing?

His head lolled back and to the side and Connor’s broad tongue took the opportunity to lick up the column of his neck all the way up to his ear. Connor bit on the lobe, tugged and then pulled away enough to whisper, “the Kevin Price I know can do most anything.”

“I-I can,” Kevin defended uselessly – he felt like jell-o and the tone of Connor’s voice wasn’t helping, “I can… I can do anything.”

Connor lifted himself onto his palms to look down at Kevin and he smiled.

“There’s that trademarked Price Pride. How about we make a deal?”

Kevin nodded – whatever would keep Elder McKinley touching him was something he’d agree to. Short of murder. Maybe. Probably. 

“You show me your very best efforts, Elder and in return, if my mouth isn’t busy telling you how wonderfully you’re doing, you can direct it to any place on your body you want it most.”

Kevin’s heart started beating in double time. He reached up to frame Connor’s face.

“I think… I think I’d just like it on mine right now.”

Connor smiled flirtatiously and without another word, leaned forward to grant that wish. Kevin moved up and shifted his hips to create more friction. 

He felt Elder McKinley moan against him and he thought about how badly he wanted to please that young man – and it was a different type of recognition he wanted. Typically, Kevin liked for the world to see his handiwork, but if he could just be alone with Elder McKinley, if only Elder McKinley ever knew this side of him, he’d be happy with that.

One of Elder McKinley’s hands slid between them, cupping Kevin’s trapped erection and rubbing tenderly. Kevin bit into Elder McKinley’s bottom lip to show his gratitude, groaning and pushing his fingers further into that thick, red hair. He felt something odd then.

Kevin opened his eyes and backlit with varying shades of red, Elder McKinley’s silhouette had somehow attained long horns and bat-like wings that spread out over them both. Kevin looked to Elder McKinley’s eyes and saw them turn inky black and he shivered with a chill despite the oppressive heat when Elder McKinley’s face broke out into a toothy, too-wide-to-be-natural, fanged smile. 

“Why, Kevin Price, I thought you said it was okay to have gay thoughts so long as you never acted upon them,” Elder McKinley mocked, his voice unrecognizable. 

Kevin glared at the demonic representation – it was an insult to Elder McKinley. He wouldn’t have his subconscious doing this anymore. 

“You’re wrong,” Kevin tells it – or him – or himself – or whatever, “Elder… Connor is an Earth-walking Angel, okay? He isn’t sick and he didn’t make _me_ sick. You’ll never have him. He’s full of faith and kindness… I think… I think he really is everything good about being alive.”

Before Kevin’s eyes, the horns turned to smoke and rose above Connor’s head, swirling and creating a glowing halo and the black, leathery wings that had been outstretched over them sprouted feathers. Everything that had been red turned a light blue, bringing out Connor’s natural, human eyes and Connor was represented in a white dress-like garment that reached his knees.

Kevin could only see that because Connor’s knees were spread over his waist and the hem of that white robe was hitching up promisingly. A pink, feathered boa draped itself over Connor’s shoulders too, falling onto Kevin’s chest.

Kevin knew he should have been more put off by that, but Connor was smiling so beautifully and no one fully appreciates how nice Connor’s smile is. Elder Warren said something about Connor being handsome the week before and Kevin nearly had a fit.

_Handsome? **Handsome?**_

Connor McKinley is the reason faces were even _invented_. Elder Warren should pack his bags and go back to Ignorant Understaters With Teeth Not As White As Kevin’s Island where he so clearly came from.

Above Kevin, Connor laughed and then fell more against him, running the tips of his fingers through the short hairs near Kevin’s ear.

“You really think of me like that, Elder Price?”

“I do,” Kevin answered, his loathing of Elder Warren falling away at the sight of Connor’s shy smile, “I think the world of you.”

“Oh, _Kevin_ ,” Connor sighed sweetly.

Kevin just about melted into his mattress, but before he did, Connor leaned down and kissed him again. Kevin held onto Connor’s waist and anchored him down to grind up into. The way Connor gasped and licked into his mouth pulled all the blood in his brain down into his shorts and it was just as he was coming against his mattress that he woke up.

He was facedown on his mattress, thrusting languidly against it and for what must have been the fifth time in as many weeks, Kevin had come in his sleep and onto his sheets. He groaned partly for the relief of coming, partly for the frustration that it was never satisfactory and partly because he was really, really tired of washing his sheets so often.

Once he had calmed down, he checked the room for Arnold and saw the coast was clear. He wiped himself off on his already soiled shorts and gathered up his bed sheets after changing into another pair of pajama bottoms. 

While he was gathering them up in his arms, Arnold walked in and shut the door behind him. He gave Kevin a sympathetic look and asked casually, “another Elder McKinley Hell Sex dream?”

“ _Ssshh_!” Kevin hissed angrily, blushing darkly.

Arnold rolled his eyes, “you know, this would probably stop if you just told him.”

“Told him what, exactly?”

Giving him an unimpressed stare, Arnold crossed his arms and waited for Kevin to answer his own question. 

This was precisely why Kevin had _not_ gone to Arnold about his… confusion. 

When Arnold pulled him away from the pool so many weeks before, he had been seated down in the common area where just he, Arnold and Nabulungi sat. Arnold gestured at Nabulungi and said very slowly and emphatically, “ _I_ am _attracted_ to Nabu, Kevin.”

“…okay,” Kevin had said.

“I _like_ her. I _like_ that she is a girl, I like the way she looks and acts and once we’re married, I fully intend to have intercourse with her –“

“Arnold, oh _my gosh_ , _why_ are you telling me this?” Kevin begged, wanting to cover his ears.

Arnold leaned in with a cartoonish, inquisitive look and asked, “how does that make you _feel_?”

Kevin’s brows knit, “…uhm… sorry for Nabulungi?”

Nabulungi laughed and Arnold scowled at him, “no! Kev, how does her being _a lady_ , a very _attractive lady_ , make you _feel_?”

Kevin’s forehead had wrinkled with a cross of bewilderment and aggravation. 

“…I… feel… fine? What is this about, Arnold?”

Arnold sighed and threw his arms in the air, like he’d tried everything and Kevin was the one not making sense. He turned his back to Kevin, then twisted to look at Nabulungi with something conspiratorial in his eyes and then he turned around completely again. 

Nonchalantly, he sat down on the couch next to Kevin and said, “alright. Sorry. That was dumb of me. Let’s talk about something else. You know – I spoke with the other Elders about their sexualities like we planned –“

“I never agreed to that plan –“

“ – and I found out that Elder Church and Elder Warren are gay too. Or at least something other than straight.”

“Okay…?” Kevin asked, beginning to feel cagey.

“So, I was thinking that since Elder Warren and Elder McKinley get along so well already, if we can convert Elder Warren to the ways of… well, _me_ , then maybe we could fix him up with –“

“ _No_!”

“Why? Don’t you want Elder McKinley to be happy, Kevin?” Arnold asked teasingly.

Kevin glowered at him, “Elder Warren can’t make him happy! Elder Warren is a jerk-face who doesn’t even –“

Kevin stopped because Arnold had started smiling creepily at him.

“…what?”

“Okay, so, Elder Warren is off the table because he’s apparently a jerk-face. Elder Church apparently already has some sort of unrequited feelings for someone else, so there’s no luck there. If we can’t fix Elder McKinley up within the Church, what should we advertise for those outside of it? What do you think are Elder McKinley’s best qualities, Kev?” Arnold asked with a flippant hand, “We gotta make him marketable to other guys, right? What should our selling points be?”

Not liking the direction that conversation was headed in, but being stubborn as a bull, Kevin stiffly answered, “there are – what sort of question is that? – there are _so many_ good qualities about Elder McKinley!”

“Let’s start with his personality, then,” Arnold had offered.

“He’s probably one of the nicest guys in the world? To have ever existed?” Kevin started listing incredulously, “He’s funny, he’s compassionate, he’s selfless, he’s hard-working, he’s trustworthy, he’s loyal, he’s interesting, he’s talented, he’s smart – I mean, do I really have to list everything? Cause if you haven’t noticed, that could take a while.”

“Okay, okay,” Arnold said, shooting a glance at Nabulungi, “What about his physical aspects? I mean, he’s sorta pale, don’t you think?”

“Mm, much too pale,” Nabulungi agreed solemnly.

“Pale!?” Kevin exclaimed, shooting up out of his seat in outrage, “His skin is like fine porcelain lightly powdered with cinnamon! It’s beautiful! And how can you totally bypass his hair? His hair is dark red, thick and always perfectly quaffed! And his eyes! You aren’t gonna mention his eyes?? His eyes are like – like some sort of artic oasis!”

“Small ass, though,” Nabulungi interjected, hiding a smile behind her hand, “The boys that like the boys do not like the small asses.”

“Elder McKinley’s ass is perfectly sculpted, Nabulungi!” Kevin scolded, pointing an accusatory finger at her, “He wasn’t even _born_ , okay? He was _carved_ out of a _Heavenly ray of light_! He just _poofed_ into existence already tall and handsome and with a perfectly proportioned, plump ass any man would be proud to –“

“Okay,” Arnold interrupted, laughing, “Okay, Kev – we get it, we get it.”

Kevin glanced between Arnold and Nabulungi laughing at him and finally planted his hands on his hips and demanded to know, “what is going on?”

“I just thought I would potentially bring to your attention that the possibility exists that maybe… _you_ like Elder McKinley, Kevin,” Arnold confessed.

Kevin’s face turned bright red and he’d gone on to loudly deny it for a solid twenty minutes, but Nabulungi said something less than flattering about Elder McKinley’s arms and then two minutes into an uninterrupted tangent about how beautiful and perfect Elder McKinley’s shoulder to waist ratio is, Kevin sort of saw what they were getting at. 

He didn’t openly admit to anything – no, that’d be asking for trouble. For Arnold-sticking-his-nose-where-it-doesn’t-belong kind of trouble. 

He had only admitted to being “confused,” about it all. Arnold told him it went against the laws of Arnold to turn anything off anymore and encouraged him to explore those feelings, but Kevin shot that down pretty quickly and hid in his room the rest of that day.

But since that day, the Hell dreams started and had taken a very, very strange turn. Elder McKinley was typically the only person in those dreams and they’d start off in a _really_ fantastic place and then suddenly there’d be Hellfire and a rumble of Satanic laughter and everything would turn horrible.

In the past two weeks, Kevin had studied up a little on lucid dreaming in order to fend off the dreams. What he really found was that, while he couldn’t stop his subconscious from crippling him with guilt, he _could_ put those dreams back on track and thus found himself washing his sheets more often than was necessary or probably advisable. 

Kevin glared at Arnold and asked, “is anyone out there?”

“No,” Arnold answered, “They’re all outside at the pool. I was supposed to come wake your lazy bones up, but I see you have your hands full, as it were.”

Arnold finds his own joke pretty funny.

Kevin does not.

“Oh my gosh, just get out of my way,” Kevin ordered, hiding his flaming face behind his bunched up sheets.

Arnold let Kevin through the door and while Kevin made it down the hall and to the laundry room safely, once the washer was going, he turned and was met with a very wet, very sun-kissed Connor McKinley.

“Elder Price,” he greeted gladly, “we just sent Arnold to come get you! We’re playing scategories!”

“Oh, ah –“

“Are you washing your sheets again?”

“Uhm, yes, you see – uhm – “

Kevin could see Arnold sticking his head out into the hall from over Elder McKinley’s shoulder making some sort of incomprehensible hand gesture that was probably meant to encourage him to confess to his Hell dreams. 

“I got another bug bite!” Kevin lied, smiling awkwardly, “I got another bug bite and it’s on my leg, see, so I was scratching at it in the middle of the night with my other foot without meaning to and I seemed to have bled on my sheets and besides being unsanitary, leaving the blood there would only draw more bugs to my bed, right? So –“

“Oh, in that case, you should turn the water temperature to cold,” Elder McKinley advised, reaching behind Kevin to the machine to switch the settings, “Cold will take the stain out. You really are supposed to soak it in cold water and if it’s fine fabrics, even rub some salt into it, but if it’s just a little blood, a delicate cold wash should do the trick.”

“Uhm, right – thank you, Elder McKinley.”

“Never a problem, Elder Price.”

Kevin rubbed at his neck nervously, wishing he had his tie to fiddle with. It was difficult enough pretending like he wasn’t having bizarre Hell dreams – this was a divine test being presented to him in the form of Connor McKinley, mostly naked and still dripping wet, smiling beautifully at him. 

_I don’t deserve that smile_ , Kevin thought sadly to himself.

Having those untoward dreams about Elder McKinley wasn’t entirely in Kevin’s control and he knew that, but he still felt guilt over it. And he felt a lot of guilt lying to Elder McKinley when it seemed like all he ever wanted to do was help. 

Telling him about it all didn’t seem like an option, though.

“Well, I came to grab an extra towel. Mind if I scoot by you?”

“No, go ahead,” Kevin replied, moving slightly so Elder McKinley could reach up into the cabinet and take down another towel.

“Elder McKinley,” Kevin started hesitantly, “…I have a question.”

“Of course,” Elder McKinley responded gently, “Ask me anything, Elder Price.”

Kevin swallowed roughly and looked down at his bare feet.

“What, uhm… how did you know that you liked that boy, Steve? When you were young?”

Kevin couldn’t see the change in Elder McKinley’s expression, but he could feel the air around them change. Elder McKinley made a nervous laugh that was entirely too cute and then replied, “well, I suppose it’s the way you realize you like anyone.”

Kevin glanced up at Elder McKinley and watched distractedly as he ran a hand through his damp, fiery hair, “I thought about him more than friends typically think of each other and I missed him sometimes before he was even gone. I’d lie awake at night, thinking about him and sometimes I’d want to just stare at him while he talked or walked or played soccer. Friends can surely admire friends, but… I could tell that what was going on with me was not entirely platonic.”

The small spike of jealousy over Steven Blade was really absurd and Kevin knew that, but he could hardly control his emotions around Elder McKinley anymore. He didn't even try to fight it off.

“…have you heard from your parents at all?”

This question more than the other seemed to shock Elder McKinley. He shook his head and leaned against the closest wall. 

“No. No, they’ve stopped correspondence. I think that until we officially become reinstated with the Church, they’ll continue their silent treatment.”

Kevin nodded sadly in understanding.

“I… I know it’s not my place,” Kevin began, nervously twisting his fingers, “but I would regret not telling you that I don’t… I don’t think you should go back to them.”

“Pardon?”

Kevin’s stomach turned over nervously, “no – I mean, I mean that… family is… family is supposed to be made up of people that take care of each other and love each other as they are. Family is supposed to be the people that you can be your most authentic self around. And it sounds like your family has been trying to erase you for your whole life and you don’t deserve that. You deserve a family that loves you for who you are and doesn’t want you to change. And… I don’t want you to change.”

Chancing a glance, Kevin looked up from under his lashes at Elder McKinley to see his cheeks bright red and his jugular bouncing. He remembered how sweetly Elder McKinley had kissed him and how reverently his hands had roamed over Kevin’s stomach, chest and neck. He got pleasant chills just reimagining it. He wanted for it to happen again so badly.

“I… really care for the person you have been right here,” Kevin admitted, “I think that’s the real you and I think… I think if you turn all that off… I’ll have been the only person to have really gotten to see you. _Really_ seen you.”

He and Elder McKinley made heavy eye-contact and Kevin finally felt like he was making sense again.

“And that’d be a real shame, Elder McKinley. The whole world would miss out on… how _incredible_ you are. And I thought that if you… if maybe you didn’t leave next month, you could stay with me and the other Elders for the remainder of our mission and then you could leave with me.”

“…leave with you?”

Elder McKinley’s voice was unreadable and so was his face, so Kevin bravely powered through it, thinking he may as well double down and be honest.

“I’m… I have to leave my house and my family. At least for a while. Until they can accept me for what I am and what I believe or don’t believe in. In any case, I’ve written to one of my cousins who’s unattached to the Church and lives alone and she’s willing to take some of us in until we get back on our feet. And I’d… I asked specifically for you. I know that’s a lot to throw at you and you don’t have to answer now, I just… I’d really appreciate it if you considered it.”

Elder McKinley’s broad hand came down onto Kevin’s shoulder, shocking him back into real time. He looked at Elder McKinley’s hand and then back into his icy blue eyes.

“I… can’t express how thoughtful…” Elder McKinley trailed off, shook his head and then finished, “I’ll… I will consider it. I will think about it, Elder Price. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Kevin replied quietly, the skin under Elder McKinley’s hand tingling and getting hot.

Elder McKinley went on to awkwardly remove his hand, tell Kevin he really ought to get back out to the group and Kevin probably watched the muscles in Elder McKinley’s back a little too closely as he walked away. Friends can admire friends, surely, but Kevin was definitely doing something more than admiring.

For the sake of his sanity and his bed sheets, it’d probably be in his best interest to tell Elder McKinley the real truth. 

That was a lot easier said than done, however.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kevin walked outside, he honestly didn’t expect to find anyone. It was three in the morning and all the other Elders were fast asleep – including Arnold, whose snore was loud enough to be an alarm system. 

Unable to fall back asleep, Kevin had put on his slippers and walked outside to admire the open night sky.

What he found instead was Elder McKinley, floating on his back, staring up at the moon through the protective net. 

The way the door shut behind Kevin was enough to draw Elder McKinley out of whatever reverie he was stuck in and he stood up in the water, facing Kevin.

“Elder Price,” he greeted, voice rough with sleep, “What are you doing up?”

A thousand excuses came to mind, but…

_“…but lying is worse.”_

Kevin swallowed loudly and he decided to answer vaguely, “nightmares.”

Elder McKinley frowned sympathetically, “I’m sorry to hear that, Elder. Hell dreams?”

“Something like that,” Kevin mumbled back, glancing away.

“Anything I can do to help?”

Kevin glanced back up at Elder McKinley and maybe it was the sense of magic that came with these not-quite-dawn hours, but he found himself feeling braver than he had in months. He squared his jaw and made a quick decision. Most of his best decisions were executive and done on the fly, anyway – one of his more amazing qualities.

“That depends,” Kevin started, “Are you going to leave next week?”

Elder McKinley’s brows pulled in.

Kevin clarified, “if you’re staying and you’ll take me up on my offer, then you might be able to help. But if you’re leaving next week, I don’t think you can.”

Putting Elder McKinley in a corner like that was probably a little unfair on Kevin’s part – but he wanted answers. He’d been stewing in anticipation and frustration for so many weeks now. He just wanted to know where they stood. He wanted to know too if his wish would come to fruition.

He was sick of watching Elder Warren and Elder McKinley get on so well, he was sick of Elder McKinley keeping him at an arm’s length day in and day out, he was sick of most everything except for Elder McKinley. 

“Uhm… I think… I think it’s probably better that I go home,” Elder McKinley answered hesitantly.

Kevin’s heart sank and he approached the pool, tossing the netted curtains aside so he could lean on the lip of the pool with crossed arms. He couldn’t hide his disappointment and he wouldn’t have cared to even if he could.

“I see.”

The sadness Kevin emitted was palpable and Elder McKinley waded through the water to stand close to Kevin, curling his fingers on the lip where Kevin’s arms were crossed.

“There… uhm… you’re sure I can’t help?”

“Connor.”

Kevin looked up from under his brow to see Connor’s flustered face and felt a rush of power come over him. He lifted his arm and grabbed onto Connor’s earlobe, smiling sadly at him.

“My wish didn’t come true. I demand a refund.”

Connor blushed furiously and brought his hand up to Kevin’s wrist; as he opened his mouth to say something, Kevin intercepted him.

“Don’t say you’re sorry.”

Connor promptly shut his mouth.

Kevin rubbed Connor’s earlobe between his fingers gently; he was staring at Connor’s mouth and he knew he was, but he couldn’t stop it. If Connor was leaving anyway, he may as well drink in as much of Connor as possible. The thought of staying in Uganda without him – even for the few months left of his mission – bordered on being physically painful.

Only as he said it, did it occur to Kevin that it was entirely true; “…I’m going to miss you.”

“I, uhm,” Connor began with difficulty, “I’m going to… miss you too. Kevin.”

Kevin nodded, swallowed a hot lump of something sad in his throat and then he dressed down to his newly acquired boxer-briefs. He got into the pool very slowly, getting goosebumps from the temperature change every step down the ladder he made and once he was in, he approached Connor with his arms up, smiling with self-deprecation.

“Once you dunk your head, your body acclimates,” Connor advised. 

Kevin heeded Connor and slipped under the water only to reemerge gasping as if he’d been horribly betrayed. Connor laughed quietly at him and Kevin tried to memorize the sound. 

He really liked when Connor laughed. It inexplicably reminded him of wind chimes.

He saw no reason not to share that.

“You’ve got a beautiful laugh, Connor.”

Cue the most vivid blush Kevin had ever seen – it was blazing and Kevin could swear he felt the heat of it from feet away.

Connor looked down at the water, at a loss for a response, it would seem and timidly, he inquired, “El – uhm, Kevin… do you mind if I ask what your wish was?”

Kevin screwed his mouth up to the side, looking thoughtful as he mentioned, “Nabulungi said we’re not supposed to expose them until they’ve come true.”

“Yes, but you’ve said…” Connor trailed off, as if he were disappointed in his non-magical freckles for having let Kevin down, “…was yours time sensitive?”

“Kind of.”

Connor’s eyes found his again and he told Kevin earnestly, “I… really want to know. Please.”

It seemed like Connor genuinely just wanted to make it up to Kevin somehow – like if his freckles had failed, he could still prevail and make things right. 

Kevin wanted to kiss Connor right then – just for that, just for being sincere and sweet and giving. For being himself.

In an instant, Kevin was overcome with something strong and driving. Kevin had only felt like this once before – it was when he stormed the General’s camp, prepared to risk his life for the sake of something greater than himself. 

He had that feeling again, looking at Connor’s eyes all glittering with starlight – that burning in the core of him, that flame that grew higher and hotter the longer he let it spread – that assuredness that if he wants to _accomplish_ something incredible, he has to _be_ something incredible.

He was pretty sure Connor wouldn’t cause him any traumatic bodily harm either, so…

 _It’s now or never…_ Kevin thought.

“I’ve got a lot of wishes,” Kevin started, feeling his ears heat up, “I wish Disney were cheaper to visit. I wish Arnold didn’t snore –“

Connor laughed again and Kevin smiled weakly before continuing, “I wish my estranged cousin wasn’t the only person in my life willing to take me in when this is all over.”

A solemn silence made itself comfortable between them for a brief time and then Kevin added, “I wish you’d come with me.”

It seemed as though Connor was too shocked by Kevin’s candidness to look away from him as he usually might have. His brows were high and his eyes were round and Kevin’s eyes fell down to Connor’s lips, just barely parted.

“I wish you’d stop chewing on pens all the time, because it drives me insane,” Kevin ranted, “I wish you’d call me ‘Kevin,’ more and I wish you’d stop popping up in my dreams, but if you did stop showing up in my dreams, I’d miss you, so I wish you wouldn’t stop too. I wish you’d laugh more, but only for me and I wish I could hoard you without it being a sin. I wish you’d stop keeping me at such a distance, I wish your family could see you for how amazing you are and I wish… I…”

Kevin swallowed roughly, feeling like a raw, exposed nerve, “I wish… I… were special enough to deserve you…”

Getting all of that off his chest was cathartic, but it had drained him of most of his confidence and that last admission made him feel small and insignificant – because it was true. Connor was a special person, a very special person – an incredible person – and he’d only choose to go against all he’d ever known and loved for someone equally or more incredible than himself, since he can’t seem to do much for the love of himself. 

Kevin was clearly not that person. 

He shut his eyes and pretended Connor wasn’t there, so he could finish this all without crying or having some sort of anxiety attack about inadequacy. Maybe he’d wash his hands of it and move on, maybe after he got all the feelings out, they’d vanish in a puff of smoke. Maybe he could find a way to box it all up and take a sledgehammer to it until every daydream about what he and Connor could have been was destroyed beyond repair.

“When I made my wish, I wished… I thought to myself, ‘please kiss me again,’” Kevin confessed, heart starting to pound, “you didn’t, though. I thought that if I… if I could buy more time with you, if I could convince you to stay with me, then I’d stop being so _confused_ about you, but the issue is that I’m _not_ confused at all. Not even a little.”

Kevin opened his eyes and stared resolutely at the reflection of the moon on the water, too afraid to see the expression Connor might be making.

“I want… all of you,” Kevin told the moon, “And I don’t want to share you with anyone else. When Elder Warren showed up, I was so, so _angry_ – I was so _jealous_ – _all the time_! I still am! I can hardly stand how much I hate him! But… he made you laugh… and he made you smile… and I thought… _I_ want to be the one to do that. I think my first wish was… selfish. Which, I guess, isn’t such a surprise when it’s me we’re talking about, but… I think more than any other wish – I wish you’d be happy. And if that means going away, then you… should. Go. You should go if that will make you happy. Things will work out for you, I know they will – all of it will get simpler and better, even if I don’t get to be a part of it. And… I’ll be glad that I knew you and glad that I saw you. _Really_ saw you. I’ll be glad I caught a glimpse… that’s… that’s it.”

When Kevin chanced a glance up at Connor, he was horrified to find silent tears streaking down his face. His hands popped out of the water, though he wasn’t sure what he’d do with them except flail uselessly. He opened his mouth to apologize, to take it all back, but Connor interrupted him – “that is all I’ve ever wanted…”

Kevin slackened a little, wondering when all the blood in his body would start moving in the correct direction again, as he currently felt like a human whirlpool. 

_“I don’t want to be the only person who ever knows who I am… I want someone to see me – **truly** see me – and I want… I want to be loved. I want to be held, reassured – I want someone to be thankful for me not because I do something for them, but because I am the person I am. Because I’m **their** person. I want someone who thinks of me and-and can’t stand the thought of being without me…”_

Kevin steeled himself, his worried, directionless hands turning to fists, “don’t leave, Connor. Stay with me. You’re my person and I want to be your person. I think about you all the time and – just the thought of you leaving has been torturing me for weeks. Stay. Please. I’ll… I’ll do my very best to make you happy.”

Connor hiccupped a sobbing laugh, covering his face with both hands as he shook his head and replied, “you already do.”

The hungry part of Kevin’s ego made itself known, feeding off the praise and wanting Connor’s favor. 

“Really?”

Connor nodded and wiped lingering tears away from under his eyes. He held his forehead for a moment, staring at Kevin helplessly and then he threw himself onto Kevin, winding his long arms around Kevin’s neck and pulling him into a heated, powerful kiss.

Kevin’s hands began to shake and he swore to himself he’d put them to use this time – if this was the last kiss he’d ever have with Connor McKinley, he’d make it count, dang it.

He grabbed onto Connor’s cinched waist and pulled them closer together, opening his mouth, licking Connor’s lips and hoping Connor would do again what he did so many months before. 

Connor didn’t disappoint.

Connor _groaned_ and the sound vibrated through Kevin, rattling him down to the bone. He slid his hands over Connor’s back, spreading his fingers, trying to touch as much of Connor’s skin as he possibly could, all while moving his tongue against Connor’s and thinking it was the most Heavenly sensation he’d ever known. 

When Kevin grabbed Connor’s wrists, he felt Connor stiffen in anxiety – Kevin certainly wasn’t letting Connor go, though and he’d never dream about pushing him away and he hated that Connor thought he might. 

He put Connor’s hands on his pecs, directing them downward, back to his abdomen and sides like Connor touched him that first time and Connor gasped against him, pulling away enough to breathe. 

The last time Connor pulled away from a kiss, he ran away from Kevin and stayed much too far for far too long. Displeased with the idea of that, Kevin dove in again, kissing Connor hungrily, drawing sweet, high-pitched noises from Connor’s throat until Connor pushed, his need to catch his breath outweighing his paralyzing awe. 

Kevin and he panted against each other, the air getting warm and damp between their swollen lips and Connor’s lidded eyes kept Kevin’s gaze as he slid a single hand down, past his hip and over the waistband of Kevin’s underwear.

Kevin’s breath stuttered and he choked off some wounded noise, never having been touched there before. Connor’s eyes flew wide open and he stared wondrously at Kevin, as if his throbbing erection were the most remarkable thing he’d offered thus far. 

Kevin might have been offended by that if he had enough blood in his skull to be offended by anything. 

“You’re… you’re hard…”

“…sorry?” Kevin sort-of-apologized breathlessly, unsure of what the protocol for situations like the one he was in was or if being hard was somehow offensive.

Connor leaned in and experimentally licked Kevin’s bottom lip, holding his cock with a tightening grip and jumping a little when it throbbed in response. 

“You’re hard for _me_ …”

“It’s not the first time,” Kevin admitted, too lost in admiration to feel any shame, “I’ve been dreaming about you – about what I want to do to you and what I want you to do to me… how I want to be with you… it’s really, uhm… worn out my sheets.”

Connor couldn’t seem to hold back his surprised laughter and Kevin laughed too because Connor’s laugh was beautiful and contagious and probably his favorite noise in the world.

When the laughter calmed, Connor looked at him seriously.

“Kevin… I don’t want to make things worse for you…”

“Then stay.”

Connor bit his lip, his eyes pleading and Kevin could see how close he was to giving in – to trusting that Kevin’s affections were real and lasting. 

Kevin was a leader and a teacher and a Brother and he was good at what he did – he was good at everything he did. He’d never tried at romance before, though and losing a board game was annoying, getting a door slammed in his face five thousand times was irritating, but he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost at this. 

If he lost Connor, if Connor walked away at the end of all this, he couldn’t tell how deeply that cut would wound him. He couldn’t tell what that loss would feel like, but he knew it wouldn’t be annoying or irritating. In fact, it felt more like the possibility of rejection alone could destroy him.

He needed to secure Connor – he _needed_ Connor and _wanted_ Connor and he…

“I… I’m…”

“You’re…?” Connor asked.

Kevin shut his eyes again to gather courage and said lowly, “I’m… in love with you. So… don’t go. Come back to the States with me and… let me love you. Please.”

“Say that again.”

Without opening his eyes, Kevin cocked a confused brow and asked, “please?”

“No – just before that…”

“Let me love you…”

Kevin heard Connor let out a shaky exhale and the next thing he knew, he was being shoved out of the pool. He kept trying to look over his shoulder and gauge Connor’s reaction, but Connor wouldn’t let him get a good look. 

He was a little scared that Connor was about to shove him into his shared room with Arnold, tell him not to blaspheme like that again and then disappear, but Kevin found himself in Elder McKinley’s office at the back of the center – the only room in the center besides the bathroom that had a lock.

Once the door was shut and locked, Kevin found himself pressed against it, being groped and thoroughly kissed. They had tracked water all throughout the center and they were making a puddle on the floor, but neither seemed to care enough to stop. 

“You wouldn’t say something like that to make me stay, right?” Connor asked, kissing and biting down the column of Kevin’s neck.

“No,” Kevin gasped, “I don’t lie – you know I don’t lie. I wouldn’t lie to you even if I could.”

Connor sucked hard on Kevin’s pounding jugular, certainly leaving a mark and Kevin felt it like an electric shock traveling down his torso and past his waistband. He leaned his head back against the door, eyes shut and brows drawn in tight and then he heard Connor ask against the shell of his ear, “were you really so jealous of Elder Warren?”

Kevin’s cheeks got hot and he scowled as much as he could, “I hate him. I hate him more than I knew something could be hated.”

Connor gave a small laugh and asked, “why? Because we were friends?”

“Because you said we wouldn’t be in the same story and he – he knows things about you that I don’t and I hate that.”

Connor drew away and Kevin looked at him with lidded eyes, feeling spectacularly dizzy.

“What?” Connor asked.

“When you said you’d be like Ariel or – or a merman from Disney or something and I told you that I’d be mad if you left me to be tricked by Ursula, but you said I wouldn’t be your prince – I wouldn’t even be in the same story as you…”

“Oh, Kevin,” Connor started, combing his fingers through some of Kevin’s hair, “I didn’t mean… I meant that you’d be in some story with a proper princess and a happier ending.”

“I don’t want a proper princess and there’s no happy ending if you’re not in it,” Kevin answered assuredly.

After staring at him in wonder for a few beats, Connor backed away a few feet until his backside hit his desk. He looked up at Kevin from under that rust and honey fringe and he asked, “would you have me, Kevin?”

Kevin’s heart thud almost painfully at the implication, but he was too nervous to act on assumptions, “…I think… I think I know what you mean, but… could you clarify?”

“I want you inside me.”

Kevin was fairly sure Connor could hear how loudly he swallowed.

“Is that clear enough?”

“Y-Yes. Yes, I’d… I can? I can… have you?” Kevin asked, wondering where he went right – wondering what formula he’d unknowingly produced through all his ranting.

Connor didn’t answer, he just went behind his desk, opened a drawer and revealed something with a pump on it. Kevin had to wonder how Connor got it through airport security, because he knew what it was and it was no small packet or case – it must have been for personal use, though, if Connor had kept it in the one room no one else was allowed in. 

Kevin wondered if Connor had ever touched himself to thought of him and even though he wanted to know, he couldn’t make his mouth move. 

The way Connor’s briefs hit the floor shocked Kevin back into reality – back into what he was actually thinking of doing and he kept telling himself he could do anything. He was _Kevin Price_ , dang it, he could conquer the whole dang world if he wanted to – but the thought of taking another step toward a very naked, very handsome Connor McKinley had him questioning his ability to even _breathe_.

“You know, I nearly kissed you once.”

Kevin’s head shot up to look Connor in the eye, rather than at his groin (Kevin hadn’t even realized he’d been staring until he was tearing his eyes away – he inwardly scolded himself for being rude). 

“What? Really? When? Why didn’t you?”

Connor laughed at the spike of Kevin’s energy and confusion and sat himself on the surface of his desk, answering with a humorous lilt to his voice, “uh, well – you were covered in blood at the time and in a bit of a rush and we were also in front of all the other Elders –“

“You should kiss me,” Kevin interrupted, heart bumping excitedly at the idea, “You should kiss me in front of them – I want them to know.”

Connor blushed and then smirked knowingly, “…you want me to kiss you in front of Elder Warren, don’t you?”

Looking up and away, feigning innocence, Kevin replied, “I just think he should know his place.”

“His place?” Connor chuckled, tilting his head to the side, “And where would that be?”

“Second to me,” Kevin answered immediately, that goal-oriented assuredness coming back to him, “Always.”

“I never really expected you to be the jealous type,” Connor commented, moving a slick finger between his widely parted legs, “but I can’t say I mind it.”

Kevin watched the first finger disappear into Connor and his body pulsated, as if it were all one, strong heartbeat and he _wanted_. He wanted suddenly and wildly and _badly_.

“Can… can I?”

Connor was surprised by the offer, but gestured for Kevin to feel free to come closer. In three quick strides, Kevin was in Connor’s _very_ personal space, staring down at his flushed, pale and freckled skin, wanting to lick every inch of it. He spread around what slick was already shining around Connor’s opening with the pad of his thumb, pumped more onto his hand, around his fingers and then replaced Connor’s with his own.

Hearing Connor gasp and watching him slide against the desktop to spread his legs wider and get himself closer was so intensely rewarding, Kevin dropped his head onto Connor’s shoulder, working his middle finger in and out, unable to maintain eye-contact.

“You’re… you’re really tight.”

“I’m trying to remedy that,” Connor answered in a struggled breath.

Kevin knew the basic mechanisms, but he’d never been in a situation like this – never even considered it. He still wanted to be polite and still wanted to do right by Connor, despite the fact that his body was overriding his brain at every turn.

“Tell me when – when you’re ready for me to add another,” Kevin said, nervously following through with a second finger when Connor gave him a positive nod.

The addition of the second finger was breathtaking – Connor collapsed onto his elbows, his shaking arms finally giving out and he threw his head back, his chest turning as blotchy red as his face and neck. It was striking and Kevin thought he was supposed to be disgusted by all of this – he was supposed to be apathetic to this type of sight at best, but he was very, undeniably and painfully aroused by it.

He thought it might not have to do with Connor being a man – he wasn’t excited because he was going to have sex with a man. He was excited because he was having sex with _Connor McKinley_ and just the clear thought of that in his head made his sac draw up tight and all his skin feel too hot.

He looked down at Connor, at his blushing skin, his flushed cock all pink and so hard, bobbing against his abdomen. He watched the way Connor’s thighs shook, the way his toes curled, his nipples pebbled and his brow furrowed, how the muscles in his stomach quivered and the apple of his throat slid with every swallow and gasp. 

“Connor,” Kevin groaned, his free hand leaving Connor’s waist to palm himself and alleviate some of the agony, “Please tell me when –“

“It’s fine – it’s fine, now – I want it now,” Connor interrupted.

Kevin whined and shucked his briefs off, lathering himself sloppily before pushing the blunt head of his cock right at the tight, pink ring between Connor’s freckled cheeks.

Moving in was a slow, part-torturous motion and they should have stretched Connor more, but when Kevin suggested he back out and do just that, Connor gave him a death glare he’d never seen before. So, he just held tightly to Connor’s thighs, his nails scraping there while he tried to keep from bucking excitedly – by the time he was fully sheathed in Connor’s body, Connor was all but heaving, his heart visibly beating itself against his ribcage. 

He looked debauched, his red hair drying, but haloed around his head like a ring of flames and he was so beautiful, he was so perfect and Kevin felt it was only polite to warn Connor he wouldn’t last long. Connor smiled at him with bedroom eyes and assured him, “I don’t think I can handle much more either.”

“Does it-it hurt at all?” Kevin asked, real concern niggling at the back of his brain.

“A little,” Connor told him honestly, “but it feels good. You’re – you’re very thick and it’s… it’s nice. It’s perfect.”

Connor was so tight and the throb Kevin’s cock gave was so strong, Connor saw immediately what was happening. He gave a positively diabolical smile and then started, “you like that, Kevin? Do you like hearing about how lovely you are?”

Visibly shuddering, Kevin dropped his chin to his chest and tried valiantly not to move. 

“Go on, Kevin,” Connor encouraged, as if reading his mind, “You’re so good with me – you’re so gorgeous, so good to me – move for me.”

With a small, quiet cry, Kevin pulled out partially just to thrust back in, hard and curved upward just a little – 

“ _Fuck_!”

Kevin’s eyes shot open and he stared at Connor in amazement. 

It was an exclamation at least an octave higher than his normal speaking voice and it was so pretty it was practically musical.

Connor had his Shamed-Elder-McKinley-Face on, one trembling hand covering his mouth, embarrassed to have cursed and so loudly too.

Kevin _loved_ it.

He thrust in again, harder and more confidently than before, hoping Connor would lose control like that again.

“ _Ah_ – **_Kevin_**!”

The thrusting stopped there because Kevin didn’t realize his name could _sound different_ depending on the context of a situation. He didn’t realize that Connor moaning his name, all throaty and at a loss for breath could make him come by sound alone.

“Kevin, Kevin – you’re so good, don’t stop – don’t stop –“

“If you keep – keep saying that, I’ll come and I don’t want this…” Kevin swallowed as the truth and fear crept into his chest, “I don’t want this to end…”

“Kevin, the night is very young –“

“No, Connor, I’m… you haven’t said you’re staying,” Kevin began, a greedy urge to hold Connor down against his will while his plane took off bubbling into his head, “If this is the only time… I want it to last.”

“Kevin, I’m staying.”

Something about Kevin’s expression must have been funny, because Connor laughed and added, “of course I’m – Kevin, you told me you’re _in love with me_. Is that still true?”

“Yes,” – _more with every passing second…_

“I won’t leave you behind, Kevin Price – I don’t know that I’ve ever deserved more than a glimpse, but you – you deserve the world, Kevin and if I… if you want _me_ , then I _want_ you to have me.”

Kevin really didn’t feel like crying, but the heat behind his eyes was very persuading. Connor smiled beautifully at him and said reverently, “goodness, I love you…”

Kevin’s heart skipped a beat and before he could have an emotional crisis, Connor added, “and have I ever told you how beautiful your smile is?”

It wasn’t precisely ‘you have better teeth than Elder Warren,’ but it was pretty close and Kevin would take it.

Kevin shut his eyes and grabbed onto Connor’s hands, threading their fingers together by Connor’s hips and started rutting into him, gasping at every compliment, throbbing at every moan of his name and then Connor’s grip was crushing his fingers with pressure – Kevin looked up then.

Connor’s head was thrown back, his back arched, his inner thighs beating against Kevin’s hips at every upward thrust and beyond the rushing blood in his head, Kevin was able to hear Connor all but shout, “oh God, _oh God_ – Ke _vin_ , fuck, f- _fuck_ , Kevin, _Kevin_ –“

Then Connor was coming, his back bowing more dramatically, his curses and praises turning to incoherent, animalistic noises and the way every hot, soft, wet muscle clenched tightly around Kevin forced him to crest. When he came, it was between a lot of stuttered vowel sounds and then _Connor, Connor, Connor, **Connor** , **Connor** …_

Even when the world stopped spinning, Kevin was bent over Connor, his head on Connor’s chest, murmuring there, “Connor, Connor…”

A hand thread through his hair and he nuzzled into Connor’s chest, never so content in his entire life. He was happy. Actually happy – not aggressively cheery or strangely chipper – not excited or seemingly demented with happiness. He was just… happy. It was simple, it was calm and serene, it was tranquil as sitting by a lake at sunrise – it was feeling complete. 

“This cousin of yours – are they alright with musicals? Because I really never stop singing and I’ll pay rent with what savings I have, but I’m probably a bit of an annoying roommate. Elder Thomas says I sing in my sleep, so you should probably invest in some ear-buds as well.”

Kevin grinned against Connor’s heated, sweaty skin and then laughed, glad tears in his eyes because he didn’t know he could be so happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Epilogue**

 

“I feel,” Connor began, with a tone of disapproval, “that you kept your cousin’s location secret for a reason…”

Kevin turned to face Connor in all seriousness, his Mickey Mouse ears firmly planted on his head and not moving an inch for short of divine intervention.

“Why do you think my family first came to Disney?” Kevin asked casually, “I’ve got relatives here!”

“This was all a ploy to get to Disney,” Connor accused.

“Connor, you wound me.”

“Wound him more,” Arnold encouraged, Nabulungi beside him, snickering into her palm, “This was definitely his plan.”

In mock offense, Kevin placed his palm over his chest and argued, “lies and slander! Heavenly Father declared we are all where we’re meant to be. We, as a whole of District Nine, just happen to be meant to be in Orlando, Florida.”

The van was quiet while Sarah, Kevin’s very sweet, if Nihilistic cousin side-eyed Kevin through the rearview mirror and mentioned blandly, “he probably just wants to get nailed somewhere in Cinderella’s Castle.”

“No repeat performances!” Arnold scolded as Nabulungi and Poptarts laughed, “That first time was traumatizing enough!”

Connor hid his face in shame as he often did when this matter of their first time came up and he defended himself, complaining, “it was Kevin’s fault!”

“Rude.”

Poptarts laughed harder, falling into Elder Thomas who rolled his eyes.

“Oh, it was definitely Kevin’s _something_ ,” Arnold joked, then he pitched his voice as high as it could go and cracked it while he imitated poorly, “ _’oh, Kevin! Kevin, don’t stop! Oh, Kevin ~’”_

“ _Aggghhh_ ,” Connor groaned miserably, hiding his scarlet face as much as possible.

Kevin blushed, but mostly grinned proudly.

Once Sarah had parked the van and the Elders had all started toward the entrance and ticket booths, she put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. His pause made Connor come to a hesitant stop a few steps ahead.

“What?” Kevin asked.

“Your parents wrote me again,” she explained, “I just wanted you to know. They want to see you for the holidays – they really miss you. I don’t think they believed you’d really stay away.”

Kevin opened his mouth, angry at first and ready to tell his parents to frick the frack off, but then he looked back at Connor.

His big blue eyes were worried, a little hopeful and unsuspecting. His pants were tight in the most perfect way, his v-neck was low-cut and tight and he was wearing a necklace Kevin had gifted him. He gave an awkward little wave and Kevin’s heart thudded in that familiar way.

 _He needs a family_ , Kevin thought to himself, thinking of how much he loved that tap-dancing ginger, how he despised Connor’s family for exiling him and how badly he wanted to make Connor happy, _And until we can have a proper family ourselves with our own house and our own kids…_

Kevin sighed and muttered to himself, “I should share what’s left of mine…”

“What?”

“Uhm,” Kevin looked back to Sarah and said, “I really don’t feel like talking to them today – I want today to be uninterrupted happiness, but… just write them and tell them that so long as, uhm… so long as my boyfriend can come with me, I’ll give it a chance.”

Sarah smiled proudly at him and nodded.

Kevin kissed her cheek and ran to catch up with Connor.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing to worry about for now. What do you want to do first?” Kevin asked sweetly, wrapping his hand around Connor’s.

Connor was pleasantly surprised by the public display of affection and blushing a little, he said, “I’d like to dance with Peter Pan. What about you?”

“I’d like to punch Prince Eric in the face,” Kevin joked – at Connor’s scandalized expression, he laughed and said, “okay, no, no – but, uhm, seriously, I have a very thorough map of Cinderella’s Castle and –“

“Absolutely not, Kevin Price!”

“Please?”

“Oh my gosh…”


End file.
